“…A shared meal is a social event where thoughts, experiences and emotions are shared.” (Gillian Crowther)
Recently, Kevin and I hosted a fish fry at our house on a cold Lenten Friday night. Getting together for fish on the Fridays during lent is something we’ve done for years with my sister, Darlene, her husband Tom and their kids. We take turns going to each other’s houses; if you’ve got fish in the freezer, bring it over – same goes for french fries, mushrooms and onions.
At our house, Kevin fires up the deep fryer outside. (Michigan weather permitting.) We all go in and out of the garage, to chat and maybe have a beer while the food cooks. As one batch comes out of the fryer; someone runs it into the garage, where we have a table set up waiting for the food, putting it in a dish lined with paper towel. Everyone wanders in and picks up whatever is fresh out of the fryer; choosing to stand and eat with their fingers – even though I’ve got paper plates and utensils setting on the table. There’s a feeling of camaraderie we all share as we do this.
Then, food allergies came into play. The breading we were using on the fish, mushrooms and onion rings contained wheat. Later as the food allergy list grew, tartar sauce and coleslaw (both made with mayonnaise) also became forbidden for some of us. We made adjustments. We cooked some of the foods in the house, in its’ own oil with a gluten-free flour – which didn’t quite do the job, but was an honest effort. Darlene went above and beyond, making salads, finding salad dressings that all of us could eat. She picked up a gluten-free pancake mix and suggested we try breading the fish, mushrooms and onions in it. It was very good. A couple of years we even tried grilling or baking the fish to eliminate the need for breading.
But, this year, Kevin just really wanted to have a regular fish fry again. I told him I would make the tartar sauce and coleslaw with “Hellmann’s Vegan – Carefully Crafted Dressing and Sandwich Spread”. (https://www.hellmanns.com ) I would pick up some gluten-free panko to try as breading since I can no longer find the pancake mix that Darlene had used before.
Bradley, who was home that weekend, mentioned to Kevin and I that he enjoyed a good fish fry, but was always a bit disappointed at having to cook our foods in the house while everyone else hung out in the garage or by the fryer. Not only were we away from the others while cooking in the house; our foods were almost always done before everyone else’s. He and I both agreed it’s a drag cooking our foods separately and having to eat different food than everyone else.
This year, Abby took care of that situation for us. She brought a box of Zatarain’s “Fish Fri Crispy Southern”. (https://www.mccormick.com/zatarains ) We erred on the side of caution, only breading some of the foods which would go in the deep fryer with the Zatarain’s; not sure if we would like it. (Everyone liked it.) Bradley and I still cooked our fish in the kitchen, but were able to reach in and grab a mushroom or onion ring from the same dish as the others. Such a simple act, yet it felt good to be a part of something larger.
If we, as adults, can feel a bit “left out” in a situation like this, how do kids feel in a similar situation? How do elementary age kids feel when they can’t eat a birthday treat that the rest of the class is enjoying? Sending in enough cupcakes for everyone and also a small fruit or vegey tray allows everyone to have a snack together without drawing too much negative attention to anyone. (Ask the teacher or the child’s parent if you’re not sure what you should send.) This also can be tough for teenagers. When Bradley and Abby were in high school; they mentioned more than once, that every team/classroom meal or reward seemed to revolve around pizza, sub sandwiches, pasta or ice cream. They didn’t expect, nor want, these rewards to be eliminated because of their food allergies. They just wanted their food allergies acknowledged, and if possible, a substitution offered. Some of the teachers did just that, and ordered them a large salad when the class had pizza or subs. Bradley’s cross country coach and his wife, prepared everything gluten-free for him at their week-long team camp.
The simple act of sharing food is more important to all of us than I think we truly understand. No one likes to feel “left out”.
“Good food is all the sweeter when shared with Good Friends.” (gimme some OVEN)
Thanks for stopping!
Brenda
Disclaimer:
These recipes and tips are not guaranteed to work or be safe for everyone. Allergies are extremely complicated and vary for each individual. It is still your responsibility to read labels to ensure your safety. I cannot be held liable for any ill effects from using my tips to avoid your allergies. (Sorry guys, I don’t foresee any problems, but Momma’s gotta cover her backside, ya know? Just read your labels!)